Lose Weight

If you wish to lose weight very quickly, and without a long term commitment to a diet plan, do I have a great suggestion for you. There is a guaranteed weight loss device, completely painless and fast. It has been around for centuries, but its use has been forgotten. With this device the average person will lose between 10 and 11 pounds (4.5-5 kg) almost instantly. The device was developed near the end of the 18th century and was widely used in France at that time. Even the King and Queen were known to have used it. It was recommended by many physicians, one of whom it was named after.

What is the marvelous device, you ask? It's the Guillotine! Guaranteed to lose 10 to 11 pounds of weight. There are, of course, a few side effects, including death. But your weight loss is guaranteed.

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And finally, a random note:
I pride myself in being "normal" only when I stand up, and then only in the geometric sense.